Yep, I’m back. Struggling as usual. My statute of limitations for sticking with anything seems to be 3 weeks. 21 days. 504 hours. But who’s counting?

I ditched this blog a long time ago but have kept it in the back of my mind in the hopes that I will someday renew my dedication to dieting. So, here’s my question: is there some sort of significance to three weeks? Is that a common statute among the dieter wannabes? Am I a weak-ass freakshow who will never drop those 35 pounds?

I started going to WW meetings four weeks ago. I fell off the wagon four days ago. I can’t seem to get back on. Easter. Reese’s eggs. Hershey kisses in pastel foil wrappers. Gummy rabbits. Peeps. You get the picture. I had destruction flanking me on all sides like some sort of psychedelic sugar fantasy. It wasn’t pretty. It still isn’t. But I’m hopping back on. I’m skipping this week’s meeting, paying my fine next week and starting fresh in the AM. It can be done and I will do it.

Wish me luck!

Today was not my best day. I got into a little eating contest with myself when my kids opted to become the eighth wonder of the world and nap simultaneously. Apparently this event initiates some neuron firing in my head that propels me to enter absurd eating contests with myself. Why? I have no idea. I think I am a freak.

Ready for honesty? I consumed 2863 calories today. In case you are confused, no. I am not training for a marathon. I’m just a food junkie with a major battle ahead of her.

Back on the Borgwagon tomorrow. Are you with me?

Weekends are tough for me. Lots of food, activities and fun that makes it difficult for me to stay focused on my task of unearthing my inner skinny girl. She’s still in there, though. I can feel her rib cage from time to time, poking into my fat rolls.

Today I ate OK. I exceeded my calories at 1688 but did well considering I ate at Bonefish, one of my favorite restaurants. I had Tuna Sashimi and a salad. It was yummy!

Goals for tomorrow: work out, do some strength training and eat well (STAY HOME!)

My son had birthday party #2 today. He’s not turning two. He’ll just have 4 total birthday parties before this ones all said and done. It’s absurd, I know. One friend party. One nuclear family party (on the actual day). One my side of the family party. One in-law party. I’d do all of the families together but time and geography make it impossible. So be it.

I volunteered to host today’s festivities and, as such, made a pot of chili and a chocolate cake. This cake was a pathetic sight to behold but it was magically delicious. I cut myself a microthin piece and enjoyed every little morsel. I found satisfaction and a profounds lesson: don’t deny yourself but exercise restraint. That’s right. You heard it hear first. MODERATION is the key to weight loss success! Who knew?

Apparently everyone but me. I stayed within my calorie range, enjoyed cake and chili and am going to bed satisfied but not full. I’d say that’s a victory.

I had a great day of eating today until I opted to feed my family Little Caesar’s pizza for dinner. It was a 600 calorie mistake. I did workout today and burned about 300 calories so I should be OK. My total calorie intake was 1455. I did not have nearly enough water or fruits or veggies. What can I say folks? It’s an uphill climb.

I have been awaiting the arrival of some jeans that I ordered several days ago. They arrived today and I rushed to try them on. They were snug. Too snug. I’ve got to return them. Here’s my question: Is buying a pair of jeans the size of a circus tent an admission of impending failure? Let’s hope not. I can’t just walk around naked from the waist down.

Hey Hidingaskinny girl! It’s your birthday! Gonna party like it’s your birthday!

It’s not actually my birthday but I’m singing this strangely triumphant song because I rocked the house today. I ate about 1250 calories, worked out and managed to actually eat out without going nuts. I’m very proud of myself.

I haven’t gotten a full report from The Borg yet but the data thus far indicates that we are one step closer to our collective goal of hotness (with a little bit of healthiness mixed in). Maybe we should make up a word for our goal a la Stephen Colbert (anyone familiar with “truthiness?”). How about hotlihealth. OK. That one sucks. Damn this writer’s strike! It’s messing with my sense of humor!

Goal for tomorrow:

• Document all food
• Work out
• Address my crumbling shell of a home

Servings of fruit today: 0 (does a lemon in my iced tea count?)

Servings of vegetables: 0

Cups of water: 4

Very slow digestion: Priceless

I’ve got to move back to smoothie town!

I’m happy to report, however, that I DID remain within my calorie range today and late night snacking was not on the agenda. Go me! Now, to keep the quantity the same and improve the quality.

I want to send a shout out to The Borg. We’ve been true to our mission today and have shared our weights, goals, food etc… GO BORG!

Goal for tomorrow: keep track of my food. Drink more water. Eat some fruits and veggies.

Resistance is futile. I learned the origin of this phrase today. Apparently it comes from the series Star Trek and a group of beings called, “The Borg.” These beings had no individuality or free will. All of their thoughts were contained in the collective will of the entire group. If they captured someone, that person was immediately absorbed into the collective and lost all individual thought. Interesting, eh?

I’ve formed a Borg of chicks that want to lose weight. Three of my friends and I are banding together with the collective goal of weight loss. We’re openly declaring our weight, our goals and our food consumed on a daily basis. I have high hopes for my group. This group can provide accountability and support for me free of charge. Yahoo! There is no reason that we should have to pay for accountability. Am I wrong? Anyway, I digress.

My eating was completely out of control today. Cupcakes, candy and chips baby: a winning combination. I feel like crap. Somethings got to give. My group has to help me.

I’m going out to lunch tomorrow and I’m worried. My goal: drink between each bite and eat half (or less than half) of what is on my plate. I’m not going to stress to much about what I order, I’m just going to be conscientious of HOW MUCH I eat.

Thought for the day: Your kids unfinished cupcakes are NOT harmless snacks. They count. Just because they have a couple bites missing does not make them invisible.

Since my last entry, I have been to a catered birthday party, continued to graze on my children’s leftover Halloween candy and made cupcakes for a birthday party. Suffice it to say, it has not been good. I’ve been hitting the food hard with absolutely no consciousness. My goal to eat only at the table has been thrown out. I have a hell of a time doing that for some reason. It’s such a simple thing but it is nearly impossible for me. I guess if I actually do it, I won’t be able to continue my 24-7 binge fest and that’s a little bit too much reality for me.

Tomorrow I have a busy schedule. My goals are simple: eat only at the table and workout. That’s it. I can do it!

I survived Halloween. It isn’t exactly a victory but it is an accomplishment. Survival is always an accomplishment.

We took the kids trick or treating in a fairly affluent neighborhood and the candy selection in the plastic pumpkins was nothing short of fantastical. There were Reese’s Cups, Nerds, Runts, Snickers, Milky Ways, Hershey Kisses and every other delicious concoction that lists, “high fructose corn syrup” as the first ingredient. My kids, particularly my daughter, went nuts. She ate with purpose, devouring each morsel, not with enjoyment in mind but with a determination to finish as much as possible in the shortest amount of time. I see so much of myself in her. It’s scary. The girl loves food.

Tomorrow my excuses end. There are no holidays, no trips, no arbitrary reasons to fail. The candy is there and that is scary but I don’t have to eat it.

Goal for tomorrow: EAT ONLY AT THE TABLE.